Self Esteem Influences Your State of Mind

Self-esteem is an ongoing evaluation of yourself and your abilities. Self-esteem reflects your confidence in what you say or do. Feeling sabotaged can result in anxiety. You thought you could trust a colleague, family member, or friend, however, you found out you couldn’t. It may feel like a knife in the back - or in the heart. You may panic and think you’ll never get over such treatment. Its important to realize that everyone has this experience sometimes, and that you have to start again and not hide from it.

It may be that no one is sabotaging you but you. Why would you want to sabotage yourself? Low self-esteem is one explanation. When you have low self-esteem, you probably have difficulty standing up to other people, avoid eye contact, turn red easily, and get a "shame attack."

If you have low self-esteem, it is probably because you weren’t valued by your caregivers when you were a child. They didn't esteem you in an appropriate way. In neglecting to value you, they abused you, even if they didn’t mean to. This resulted in a lack of confidence about yourself and your worth. Low self-esteem can make you feel as if you’ll do not be able to cope with your anxiety.

Since you may have been abused or neglected in your family of origin, you might abuse or neglect yourself. The important thing to elevating your esteem is the willingness to take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Self-esteem fluctuates based on your life experiences. If you have low self-esteem, take heart. You can learn to build your self-esteem, but it wont happen overnight. When you make the decision to value yourself, be more successful for you to value others. As your self-esteem rises, so will your esteem of others. This change will improve your relationships.

On the surface, it may seem you want to succeed, however when you have low self-esteem, old messages you learned in your family continue to operate. Perhaps you were told you were stupid, lazy, would never succeed, or were given some other negative message. These messages are like tapes that play in your head. They’re faulty because they have nothing to do with you and also everything to do with the one who gave you the message. The faulty messages might even seem automatic, as if they can turn on their own and play and play and there's nothing you can do about it.

There is something you can do about these messages, but first you have to identify them and realize they aren't about you. They fit in with someone else. Until you identify these messages, face them, and realize you are worthy and whole, you will continue to sabotage yourself.